Babycenter can bite me

I will preemptively apologize if anyone really likes babycenter. I have always been a part-time user even when my pregnancies were “going well” I still kept babycenter at an arms length.  No REAL problems with it, but I would get annoyed when someone would be rude to someone else over different beliefs. I understand when you are using an open forum people can comment what they want, so I always stayed on the peripheral and read what I wanted and commented on very few things. It was just unnecessary stress that I really try to avoid when pregnant. When Linden was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and we decided to carry to term, I found a couple groups that I could relate to and I found helpful for answers and support. I still did not post a lot, but found great help just reading peoples stories, again, sometimes I would comment and most of the time I would not. A couple of weeks ago, I found a couple more groups I was interested in 1 of which is a private group for women after they have experienced loss.  In order to join they had some requirements, one of which was you had to be a regular contributor to the public loss group. I was not, but wrote them a very nice email explaining my loss, my usage, and my desire to read others stories for advice. I WAS REJECTED. My loss was “too soon” and I “need to work through my loss through the public forum” (that’s where they all started), and “don’t take it personally” but “we just want to make sure it’s a ‘good fit'”. And I was left with the advice of “post more to the public forum” and “try again in a couple of months.”

So if anyone was wondering if there was a “Pregnancy Loss Police” I found ’em, and boy are they special. I can’t even believe they would reject a person that has been going through RPL for years and now a stillbirth that happened a few months ago is too soon! Thanks for the that. Who knew there was a hierarchy and rules and obviously everyone processes grief in the same way.

Like I said in the beginning, if you like babycenter and it benefits you, that’s great, stick with it. I have learned a couple of lessons from this bc garbage. 1. I have found more help, respect, and love through our blogging community than I could ever imagine. Thank all of you women so much for your support, stories, strength and hope. You are all such remarkable women, no matter what stage of life/grief/pregnancy/ttc you are in. Big love to all of you. 2. If a woman comes to you and asks for help (or to join your precious little group) don’t deny or reject her. Shame on you girls. 3. BABYCENTER CAN BITE ME!!!!!


11 thoughts on “Babycenter can bite me

  1. What jerks!! I had a similar experience with a private group. I don’t post much either, but I do find comfort in reading stories, so I found this loss group (could it be the same group). I was accepted but then apparently I didn’t post enough. They would always leave comments, “Where is Willow (not my real name, but my babycenter name)?” “Have you heard from her in a while?” “Please post or we are going to have to ask you to leave”.

    I left the group. Here I was feeling like I needed support and they basically kicked me out. They were so mean about it too.

    The only group I still view every now and then is the “Recurrent Miscarriage Support” group (are you a member of that group?) but I stay away from all the other groups.

  2. myhopejar says:

    I simply can’t believe this. I am absolutely disgusted and appalled! I have never subscribed to baby center. I went to it and read the week by week progress pages when I was pregnant with Holdon, but never subscribed to it, and now I’m so glad I didn’t!

    I’m so very sorry that this happened to you hon. It’s just so wrong. I feel like lodging a complaint to baby center on your behalf!

    Please know you can reach out to me ANY time and I am always here. I’m sending you the biggest virtual hug. ❤ ❤ ❤

  3. Omg, babycenter can seriously suck it. Ew. Yeah, like the other ladies I also had a super charming experience with them after my loss in June. When I tried to join in August, they also told me it was too soon. Jerks. WordPress is awesome. ❤

  4. The idea that somehow your grief can be quantified is abhorrent. It sounds like a sorority and you can’t belong because you don’t have blond hair. I am sorry this happens to anyone who is seeking help.

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