I will preemptively apologize if anyone really likes babycenter. I have always been a part-time user even when my pregnancies were “going well” I still kept babycenter at an arms length. No REAL problems with it, but I would get annoyed when someone would be rude to someone else over different beliefs. I understand when you are using an open forum people can comment what they want, so I always stayed on the peripheral and read what I wanted and commented on very few things. It was just unnecessary stress that I really try to avoid when pregnant. When Linden was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and we decided to carry to term, I found a couple groups that I could relate to and I found helpful for answers and support. I still did not post a lot, but found great help just reading peoples stories, again, sometimes I would comment and most of the time I would not. A couple of weeks ago, I found a couple more groups I was interested in 1 of which is a private group for women after they have experienced loss. In order to join they had some requirements, one of which was you had to be a regular contributor to the public loss group. I was not, but wrote them a very nice email explaining my loss, my usage, and my desire to read others stories for advice. I WAS REJECTED. My loss was “too soon” and I “need to work through my loss through the public forum” (that’s where they all started), and “don’t take it personally” but “we just want to make sure it’s a ‘good fit'”. And I was left with the advice of “post more to the public forum” and “try again in a couple of months.”
So if anyone was wondering if there was a “Pregnancy Loss Police” I found ’em, and boy are they special. I can’t even believe they would reject a person that has been going through RPL for years and now a stillbirth that happened a few months ago is too soon! Thanks for the that. Who knew there was a hierarchy and rules and obviously everyone processes grief in the same way.
Like I said in the beginning, if you like babycenter and it benefits you, that’s great, stick with it. I have learned a couple of lessons from this bc garbage. 1. I have found more help, respect, and love through our blogging community than I could ever imagine. Thank all of you women so much for your support, stories, strength and hope. You are all such remarkable women, no matter what stage of life/grief/pregnancy/ttc you are in. Big love to all of you. 2. If a woman comes to you and asks for help (or to join your precious little group) don’t deny or reject her. Shame on you girls. 3. BABYCENTER CAN BITE ME!!!!!