Really?!

Babycenter can bite me

I will preemptively apologize if anyone really likes babycenter. I have always been a part-time user even when my pregnancies were “going well” I still kept babycenter at an arms length.  No REAL problems with it, but I would get annoyed when someone would be rude to someone else over different beliefs. I understand when you are using an open forum people can comment what they want, so I always stayed on the peripheral and read what I wanted and commented on very few things. It was just unnecessary stress that I really try to avoid when pregnant. When Linden was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and we decided to carry to term, I found a couple groups that I could relate to and I found helpful for answers and support. I still did not post a lot, but found great help just reading peoples stories, again, sometimes I would comment and most of the time I would not. A couple of weeks ago, I found a couple more groups I was interested in 1 of which is a private group for women after they have experienced loss.  In order to join they had some requirements, one of which was you had to be a regular contributor to the public loss group. I was not, but wrote them a very nice email explaining my loss, my usage, and my desire to read others stories for advice. I WAS REJECTED. My loss was “too soon” and I “need to work through my loss through the public forum” (that’s where they all started), and “don’t take it personally” but “we just want to make sure it’s a ‘good fit'”. And I was left with the advice of “post more to the public forum” and “try again in a couple of months.”

So if anyone was wondering if there was a “Pregnancy Loss Police” I found ’em, and boy are they special. I can’t even believe they would reject a person that has been going through RPL for years and now a stillbirth that happened a few months ago is too soon! Thanks for the that. Who knew there was a hierarchy and rules and obviously everyone processes grief in the same way.

Like I said in the beginning, if you like babycenter and it benefits you, that’s great, stick with it. I have learned a couple of lessons from this bc garbage. 1. I have found more help, respect, and love through our blogging community than I could ever imagine. Thank all of you women so much for your support, stories, strength and hope. You are all such remarkable women, no matter what stage of life/grief/pregnancy/ttc you are in. Big love to all of you. 2. If a woman comes to you and asks for help (or to join your precious little group) don’t deny or reject her. Shame on you girls. 3. BABYCENTER CAN BITE ME!!!!!

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11 thoughts on “Babycenter can bite me

  1. What jerks!! I had a similar experience with a private group. I don’t post much either, but I do find comfort in reading stories, so I found this loss group (could it be the same group). I was accepted but then apparently I didn’t post enough. They would always leave comments, “Where is Willow (not my real name, but my babycenter name)?” “Have you heard from her in a while?” “Please post or we are going to have to ask you to leave”.

    I left the group. Here I was feeling like I needed support and they basically kicked me out. They were so mean about it too.

    The only group I still view every now and then is the “Recurrent Miscarriage Support” group (are you a member of that group?) but I stay away from all the other groups.

  2. myhopejar says:

    I simply can’t believe this. I am absolutely disgusted and appalled! I have never subscribed to baby center. I went to it and read the week by week progress pages when I was pregnant with Holdon, but never subscribed to it, and now I’m so glad I didn’t!

    I’m so very sorry that this happened to you hon. It’s just so wrong. I feel like lodging a complaint to baby center on your behalf!

    Please know you can reach out to me ANY time and I am always here. I’m sending you the biggest virtual hug. ❤ ❤ ❤

  3. Omg, babycenter can seriously suck it. Ew. Yeah, like the other ladies I also had a super charming experience with them after my loss in June. When I tried to join in August, they also told me it was too soon. Jerks. WordPress is awesome. ❤

  4. The idea that somehow your grief can be quantified is abhorrent. It sounds like a sorority and you can’t belong because you don’t have blond hair. I am sorry this happens to anyone who is seeking help.

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