Wow. 39 weeks just flew by. I can’t believe we will meet our girl soon. Our appointment went well today with Dr. Khouzami. Linden’s heart sounds good and I am dilated 1 cm so things are moving along. He also said he would not let my pregnancy go longer than 41 weeks. Although I am scared of being induced, we will do whatever is best for her. My only hope is her heart can take everything. Say a prayer for our girl.
Last week in therapy, I realized that this may be the most challenging event of my life, but I have learned and grown so much and I do have things to be grateful for:
1.My bond with my husband is stronger than ever. I’ve said it before, but he is truly the most remarkable human being. He makes me belly laugh multiple times throughout the day, and that is the best medicine in the world. Thanks, Bunz.
2. I no longer let the small stuff get to me. People, places, and things could ruin my mood or even my day. I would concern myself with other peoples business and hold onto it like it was my own. Well, NO MORE. I still love my family and friends and only want wonderful things for them, but I do not have the capacity to make their problems my problems. This is a huge blessing for me and free’s up a lot of headspace. Thanks perspective.
3. The quality of my relationships has improved. I may not have as many friends but the ones I do have are amazing. Also, the kindness of acquaintances/strangers has renewed my faith in humanity. Emails, messages, phone calls, visits, and even presents, if you reached out to me I appreciate it and it improved my day. Thanks people.
4. I have some ideas about losing fear, but I’m not sure that’s correct just yet. I’m still terrified about the future- not my own, but hers.
It’s important to recognize the light even in the darkest of times.
My next appointment is on Monday. I can’t believe Christmas is next week.