Gratitude, update

36 weeks 4 days: Update and gratitude

Here is our appointment update from Wednesday.  Linden is doing ok.  We saw improvement in the development of her cerebellum, which is an amazing blessing.  Her heart looks the same and she is still measuring behind.  I was 36+1 and she was measuring 30+5 her weight is 3lbs 8oz.  She was folded basically in half the whole time (all 4 appendages by her face) so we did not get any good pictures, oh well.   It was just nice to see her.

We spoke with Dr. Chan our neonatologist for a while and he explained different scenarios that may happen and he showed us the RICN.  Heartbreaking.  He also explained to us, in depth, Linden’s heart defect called a Tetralogy of Fallot and his concerns about her size and lung development.  He said he would go over the sonogram with Dr. Khouzami when he got back and would know more then.

All in all it was a good visit, we saw our girl and got a lot of information and time with Dr. Chan.  Josh and I left quiet and defeated though, too many decisions to make, too much reality, too much unknown, too much fear.

The next day was Thanksgiving and I promised myself I would enjoy it and be grateful.                                       I am thankful for my husband, for his kindness, humor, and love.  I am thankful for my parents, who would go to the ends of the earth for us especially my mom who would do anything and everything in her  power to alleviate some of this pain I am in.  I am thankful for my in-laws, who are so loving and gentle, their prayers, and raising the most remarkable human being in the world.  I am thankful for my sister for being so selfless and always dropping everything to come make me laugh for hours.  I am thankful for my brother-in-law and sister-in-law for being such wonderful, compassionate people that we will eternally look-up to.  I am thankful for all of our aunts, uncles and cousins, everyone has put forth extra effort to let us know they are thinking of and praying for us.  I am thankful for our friends, who continue to treat us like normal, thanks for listening, laughing, and asking us to hang out.  I am thankful for the care we are receiving at Conemaugh, everyone has been amazing.  I am thankful for my unconditional pet love from lil’ Edie and Mr. Scooter.

I am thankful for the time I get to spend with Linden.  Feeling her kick, squirm, hiccup and roll are the most amazing feelings in the world and no one gets to experience it the way her and I do.  We may not have all the time in the world but we have these little moments I will never forget.


2 thoughts on “36 weeks 4 days: Update and gratitude

  1. lkgaddis says:

    Beautiful words. I love your ability to find pieces of the experience to relish and enjoy despite your sadness and troubles. Best wishes.

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